Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Did You Hear Me...

I am angry now. Angry on the way the world wants me to live, behave. But what its trying to teach me is not what I want to do. I am not at all accepting it.

I can not be good to someone expecting he / she will be good to me later. Or worse, I will always try to be nice to the other thinking, if I hurt him today, tomorrow when I need him he will turn me down. So, even though I am right, I need to make him feel good now. It is paining, but it's ok, it will compensated by a help later.

I can not do that. If you hurt me, if I can not agree with you, I will say it right now. Because of it, if you stopped taking to me, no more your pet / friend, will make sure I will not receive any help from you in the future, I DON'T CARE. Especially, because of an incident, one reason you disagree with me I am not going to change my view about you. Especially if you are one among I care or count. If you don't mean anything to me, or we won't meet or work again, I may not care. Because for something I will not come across again, I need not fix the issues.

At workplace too, I can not suffer everything thinking it will make my life difficult later. I know at times there may be people, because you took a stand against them, will try to make your life difficult. But you can not stop yourself fearing the consequences. Stand up for what is right.

Reason is simple. The more I like the other one, or I need to meet / work with them again, if I won't correct the differences, it will build up and will make it impossible to continue. I cannot always take the beating or blame. I will need to tell them that I am right and you are wrong, you need to correct the step. Else, the frustration inside me will build enough to destroy me, my happiness.

I know not everyone will take it right. Ego may blind them. But that is their problem. Unless they make the necessary corrective step and make life easier for both of us, things will not be right.

If you feel like it is not the way it should be, or I am a failure in making / building / maintaining relations, I don't care, I don't need to. Because it is the way I am and it is the only way I can be.

I learned a lesson in life. Except my relatives and dear friends, nobody or nothing is essential in my life. I am not living counting anybody else. I am not living thinking they will be with me forever, or the company I am working with is the only place I can find a job. If I can not cope up with it, I will try to correct it. If it is too resistant to correct, I will look for some other place I will fit in better.


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