My Cyber Friend

This is translation of the post I published on my Malayalam blog Kurippukal. You can read the original here.

‘I don’t need your phone number. Let us remain friends only over the net…’
‘OK, if you insist, let it be. Till now many have asked me for my number and I never gave it. Now when I feel like talking to you, you say you don’t want to. Leave it. Bye…’

It was my friend on chat. She wanted to talk to me and gave me her number. But as I suggested her to be net friends, she got angry and logged off from chat.

I was never sure how will I accept in a group and was never eager to make friends. When others were making internet a friend space without boundaries, I was laid back. In Orkut and Facebook, I accepted friends request from only those were with me in my school or college.

This lady I met through my blog. She liked my writing and thinks that I got terrific humour sense and innocent. Somehow, we started meeting on mail and chat. And she became my first and only friend in the cyber space…

Chatting with her made my lone life in this metro fun. And now we meet on phone too. Yes, I got to give into that offer. She was always fun with her stories about her city and people she meets. And will discuss about the poems she posted in her blog, which I ever can hardly follow !

She sounded very excited when she called that day….
‘Guess what, I was caught by police today…’
‘Wonderful. Who was the unlucky fellow with you..’
‘Hey nothing like that. It was for driving without license!’
‘Great.. How much he fined you’
‘No man, I cried and the poor police guy let me go!’
‘Any policeman would stop you when you drive like a drunkard. At least you may take the scooter out once you learn how to drive.’
‘No man, then it will not be this thrilling…’

She always do some crazy stuff for the thrill and somehow she managed to escape unscratched….

After that incident, she didn’t call me for a while. Not on chat or mail either. As I used to her frequent anti-mobile periods I was waiting for her call. One night I got a call from her.
‘Yaar, I am on my way to Bangalore. Pick me up in the morning!’
‘What ??? Hey, how will I recognize you ? What’s the matter ?’
‘I will tell you once I reach there. Check mail. I have sent my photo. See, I am smart’

I went numb for a moment and then quickly checked the photo… It was a cute girl. I was thinking about the excuses I would need to tell the house owner to get her in.

I reached on time to pick her up and was looking for her. In the deep blue gown she was looking pretty.
‘What’s this man, you are staring at me.’
‘Nope, I was just wondering is this the same girl in that photo.’
‘Yup. You can trust me, this is the same girl.’
‘Trust and you… The one who sent the photo of a four month old baby and expect me to recognize you today ??’
She gave me a cute smile as answer.
‘I was thinking, generally the beauties in the net when come face to face become  horrible. But here you look very pretty..’
‘Hey, stop staring and let’s go home.’
I think she liked that compliment. There was enough time for a quick nap and we went to bed. When I woke up, she already had bath and was looking all fresh.
‘Yaar, wake up, I am feeling hungry, get ready quick’.
‘See on weekends I will take bath only after food. Just gimme two minutes to brush my teeth.’

She was in deep thoughts once we back home after food. After a while she started to talk…
‘Yaar, I am confused now. I am not sure whether I am in Love.’
‘I guessed a feeling of Love when I was talking to you these days… Open up’
She gave me a photo and said ‘ See this is the guy. Same campus. He likes me a lot. I am not sure whether I should say yes to his proposal..’
‘Why you are not sure… Just listen to your heart.’
‘I think he is the one. But something pulls me back… see, I don’t have anybody but you to discuss this. Nobody else will be sensible enough to understand me…’
‘Girl, why are you hesitating? He looks good to me. And he Loves you. What more you will need… Love him without any space between you..’
Till she left the next day, she was talking non-stop about him.

In the coming days she was updating me their Love story. They were planning to settle in Australia. He got visa, and once he settle there, she will join him there. She was very happy, and that happiness grow into me too.


She called me after a while.
‘Man, I am in hospital now…’
‘Wow.. Congratulations, is it twins…’
‘Hey idiot. I fell down from my scooter. Don’t know what the state I am in now. All I can feel is bandages all the way down my neck.. And it pains like hell’
‘Hey crazy lady, why didn’t you call me earlier. Is there anybody with you now…’
‘Yeah. He didn’t go to Australia. He was taking care of me. Waking up all the night, fighting off death I guess…’
‘Hey dear, what will I tell you. Get well soon’

It took two weeks for her get discharged. And was under the physio therapy. By then he went Australia. And then came her call.
‘Yaar, he bought a house there. Once I become well he will come and we will go together married.’
‘Wow, that’s good news. How are you..’
‘Will take some time to heal the wounds and the fractures. And another funny thing is that I may not be able enjoy sex completely !’ she was laughing as if she cracked a joke.
‘Wow, that’s good. Now you need not worry about it.’
‘Guess what, I sent him my horoscope yesterday.’
‘Why ?’
‘Man, we need to look for the auspicious time for the marriage. I think you don’t believe in all this…’
‘Ok ok. I am waiting for the day you will get married. After that I will not need to tolerate you, right…’
‘No way. Even after a hundred years, I will not spare you. May be even he might not understand me like the way do’.
‘Oh no… Now think about getting well. Take care’

She sounded very weak and shaken when we talked next. She was trying to say something but her sobs was not letting me make it out clearly. All I got was she got a call from his father, who told her that the horoscopes won’t match at all. She was trying to reach him, but was not able to talk to him. She lost all interest in life and her physio and medicines all went wrong. She went home for a break but feeling the atmosphere there suffocating she went back to Chennai. Now she has issues in walking and can’t sit for long either. The poet who always wrote about dreams, now talks only about death. 
‘I Loved him with every bit of me like you suggested, still why I didn’t get him….’
I didn’t have an answer for that.
‘See yaar, for the unknown stars and horoscope, he left me. I never knew that I was so addicted to him. Without his chat or mail I am feeling suffocating. I don’t find any meaning in surviving like this. I feel like somebody drained all the colours from my life…’
‘Don’t think like that dear… He is the loser. His fate has only the luck to know you, but not the luck to make you his. For him, please do not waste your life crying…’
‘And think this, his father called me to tell the news. At least, if he had the courtesy to call me.. I feel like been used and thrown away..’
However hard I tried, she was not convinced and kept on crying. I let her cry, thinking if it could help her to feel better…


After that night I met her today on chat. She was sad but sounded strong.
‘Yaar, I am giving only pain to you. And I don’t want to give you that anymore…’
‘Dear, don’t think like that. You can never hurt me or you will never be a pain for me’
‘….’
She logged out. After that she never answered my call or mails. I am trying. I can not let her go like that. After all she is the only friend I have on the cyberspace. She can not go just like that, can she…