I Love The Way I Am

I was a lot confused about my feelings, life, priorities, attitude, laws of life, outlook, the way I live etc till a couple of days back.
I was wondering whatever I thought right way to live, interact, love is proving wrong.
Unconditionality is a curse.
Selflessness is the biggest mistake and foolishness.
Do what you can, not expecting anything in return is good only in books.
I can live the way I want, and I will see that the world around me will accept it for it's novelty.


Now I am in a state where I need to reiterate life.
But then, I realize that how I was living was the perfect way to live too.
If someone is not understanding it or not accepting it as it is, it is their problem.
They either fail short to accept the fact or too jealous that they can not live the way I do...
So I need not change myself.

Last week I received a very special mail from someone not that special and was told how much I meant and why.
When there are people who accepts me and loves me the way I am, why I should change or even think of changing..

So people THIS IS ME.
Accept me as I am.
If you can't, don't get jealous, but let me continue being myself.


Hhhmm... I am much more happier now :)

Disconnectng.... in Progress....

Have you ever felt like being tied too much in relations...
I am feeling that now.
I guess I am being tied to a lot of poles than necessary.
Worst still, I am giving all the same care and passion.
NOT ANY MORE....
I am not here to love, care, pamper everybody.
I want to be lovely only to those I feel like my dearest of souls...


I live in a dream world.
Though only a handful, I really cherish the ones with me.
And I want them to be so good and loving forever with me..
NOT ANY MORE....
Of course, I am still in my dream world.
But the handful of people.. I think they outnumber the time or care I can give.. ;)
So I am in a process of disconnecting.
Only very few I would keep with me...
When it is a lot, it is difficult to keep the expectations and commitments.
So only those I can never part, will remain in my dream world.


I already removed a lot few friends from my Orkut list..
It is still in progress.
But that is not really what I meant by disconnecting.
It is much more than that...
Cause I don't want anymore shattering to my dream world.
I can not afford it...

Know less is better

Hi,
It's been a while I posted something here.
And now I am away from home and India and nothing good to do other than work, I guess I can post more often.


Do we really need to know each other, or anybody close...
I guess when we know other person, most of the time we end up knowing something less good about him / her.
And from my experience I feel that most happy faces hide a lot of tears..
So I decided not to dig into anybody and keep the relations only on the surface.
At least when being together, we will be happy and enjoying...


All these thoughts came to me after a brief lunch discussion with my friends a few days back.
We were happily chatting, pulling each others' legs and making a lot of noise and laughter.
We left the table and decided meet the next day for some more fun.
But everything turned upside down when one of my friend told a little secret about the guy I teased the most...
Though he was apparently enjoyed it and gave me more reasons to tease him, this news made me feel guilty.
Whatever I told him for the sake of fun got a very ugly face to it...
It was really hurting.. especially because I liked that guy ( he hate to refer him guy, always insist to call him by name).
So all the smiling face he portraits melted in a second....
I rushed to him to say sorry, and being the gentleman he is, he insisted he didn't care about it and it didn't bother him a bit...
Still I felt bad and sorry...
Sorry dear.. I never meant to hurt you...


So no more digging up into anybody's soul.
I like them the way they are with me...
This is not the first time a smiling face turned out to be a mask..
But this time it hurt me very deep...
So I like to be friend with the smiling face, not the teary face within...
Wait a minute, I been called Always smiling bright boy....