One thing I learned ( the hard way, of course ) once I left home was I can not expect anybody to be a true friend. Though there are some exceptions to this law, most cases agree with it. True relations outside home are rare. And it will be foolish to expect somebody to be my friend because I am so for him.
Friends are the best thing you can get when you are away from home. True. But making a friend also expect something back, them being a friend to you too... And if that misses...
Losing a friend is harder than making one. If your friend behaves in a way totally opposite of what you expect will be a blow you can not handle too.
How to handle this… For me the easiest way is to avoid making friends, friends with everyone. Till I am confident about one, I prefer to call him company than friend. One of my friends had an interesting way of it. She had friends who are hand-related, heart-related and soul-related. Hand-related ones are the ones who are limited to hand-shake ! Heart-related ones are closer and soul-related ones are the ones forever. Now that’s a trick. It is good to know the ones prone to go, so that when it actually happens you will not feel bad :)
It is very difficult to find good friends now. The small town where I am coming from, I hardly know my neighbours. And in this metro, good friends are rare. Though I do have a bunch of friends I can rely on, most of the people I meet everyday, though I talk / greet them cordially, I don’t call them friends. And most of the day we spend at work and it is the rarest of places where we can find friendship! Go to office to work and never to make friends!
Saying all this, still, if I miss any of the ones I care for, I do cry…
Friendship is such a rich topic to discuss. So many questions horizon friendship, boundaries set?, should there be boundaries between friends? nature of friends, type. To me, I find it difficult not to be friends with anyone, I am the type of person who admires getting to know as much people as possible however only if they let me in and approach me which is one of my disadvantageous traits. I love the hand related, heart and soul related, that's just a profound way to think of it.
ReplyDeleteLife is tough, when it puts you in a situation, you lean and find yourself fallen on the ground, because whoever you decided to lean on, let you fall! I've been there and it is not a pretty feeling.
Count me in as a friend please! :)
Lovely post! blessings.
You indeed are a dear friend Batty.
ReplyDeleteThis is the kind of post I write to myself to say that I am strong and nobody leaving me can hurt me ;)
Frienship will and should never have any boundaries. The only thing is take time to call one friend so that you know you are as worthy as he / she is to you...